Neknominations

Hey guys, welcome back to my blog.

I haven’t posted in a while due to exams and various other things in my life, but hey – I’ll try sort this out and get spouting more bollocks asap.

I think I’m going to take a new approach, by talking about one or two topics in a more brief manor, meaning the blog will be less of a tiresome procedure to read.

Todays topic: Neknominations.

I’m going to start off by stating what they are, so anybody who has been lucky enough to have avoided seeing one of these so far has an idea of what I’m talking about.
It starts off with one of your “friends” nominating you. Upon being nominated, you then have to “neck” or down a drink of, I think your choice, in a short period of time. This is all recorded and placed on Facebook. I put friends in speech marks, as for me, any of my friends who do this on my Facebook, are now without me on their list.

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Now here’s the thing; I would maybe enjoy this social networking craze if my news feed was getting filled with videos of people doing interesting or amusing things. It doesn’t have to be productive. I love watching cats trying to climb up a slide, I don’t need productive. Just interesting, or funny. Please.

An example of this. If I got nominated and I had to do something creative or amusing and I achieved such feat and nominated somebody else to do something similar, then we have a bunch of videos of people, potentially your friends, doing cool things. I like that idea.

Instead my news feed is full of absolute morons; doing dangerous or disgusting things. One video I saw the guy mixes up his own poo, along with other things and drinks most of it, then pours the rest down his body. What is this? This isn’t normal. It’s revolting.
Heck, I love poo jokes, but this isn’t funny. It has crossed the line. That dude took a run up and jumped way over the bastard line.

There’s other ones I’ve heard about where cleaning products have been consumed due to being nominated. Good job (Y).
Is it bad that I wouldn’t care if any of them got considerably ill from what they’re doing?

It is bad? Good.

There’s even a page devoted to “The best neknominations” which does erect some amusement deep within me. How does one judge whether a neknomination is good or not? Is it dependent on how dangerous the final video is, how adventurous? I don’t really know, but below I’m going to attempt to identify some key elements which I believe constitutes to a “good” neknomination. You know, as I’m obviously experienced in the field.

  • Nakedness – The more naked, the better. ApparentlyMaybe because if you pass out, your “mates” can draw cocks on you.
  • Danger – Anything that you could potentially die from, the better. Of course. Logic++;
  • Location – If you can be somewhere ridiculous, like sat on a toilet, you score extra points. You also score points in the twat department, keep that in mind.
  • Canned like laughter – If your friends can pretend to find it funny and laugh, you’re onto a winner. You also need new friends.
  • IQ – The lower your IQ, the more you’ll enjoy drinking your ridiculous drink and the more willing you’ll be to ruin your life – Therefore achieving neknomination god status. You’ll also make your mum wish she aborted you.

Anyway. so if you’re thinking of joining the craze then ensure you incorporate the above aspects to a “high” standard and you might get on that treasured page highlighting the “best” ones!

Oh and you’ll also be a massive idiot, so you might as well save everyone the constant trauma of having you in their lives and make cyanide your choice of drink. <3

I’m out. Thanks for reading.

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